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IEP meetings can bring out a cold sweat in me sometimes. Worrying about how my children are progressing, wondering if they will want to cut services, and hoping I can advocate for another year of what they need. When I first began my journey as a parent in the special education system 12 years ago I had no idea what I could do to alleviate my worries. Now, after countless IEP meetings for Roses and Dino, I have a much firmer grasp of what to expect. I also feel that I have learned some tricks to help me be prepared.
IEP meetings are a chance for your child’s team and you to evaluate the previous year and see what adjustments to make for the next year. Remember, IEP plans are evaluated on a yearly calendar basis, this means your IEP may come part way through a school year. For this reason, it is important to always be looking forward to the next year as well. This is especially important if your child is going to be hitting a big transition soon, such as elementary to middle school.
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What can you do to prepare?
My first recommendation is to make a list of any issues or concerns you have. As your child gets older you can ask them if they have anything they want to be addressed as well. These might include how your child can take notes, organize assignments and homework, cope with stress in the classroom, and have social concerns as well. Think of anything you would like addressed, no issue is too small to bring up. I have always been pleasantly surprised by how often our team will have a solution or accommodation for even the smallest concerns.
Consider what bigger goals you have for your child, or things you would like to see them accomplish. For a way to compile goals into actionable steps Click Here for my free Building Hope Template. It is a helpful tool to start discovering the vision you have for your child’s future, and you can also use it as a way to receive more suggestions from your team.
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How to adjust in a school year
If your child is already in school you probably will have a good idea of how they are doing. Teachers are wonderful resources for helping to see areas your child might need additional help. Dino’s first-grade teacher was a wonderful resource when he started to struggle with focus in the classroom. Because of his hearing loss, his DHH team was quick to dismiss any concerns I had about his focus as an issue related to this loss.
On the other hand, his teacher had the ability to look at him as a whole student and suggested we have an ADHD evaluation completed. I was not surprised when he was later diagnosed with ADHD. Along with his teacher we were able to implement some additional help to optimize his learning. Dino could leave the class and work in the hall if he was getting distracted. He stood at his desk when he needed to move. Ultimately his teacher’s input was vital for forming his next IEP plan.
Relationships are the key to success
Make sure you are building relationships with your child’s team. They have chosen to join a field that is high stress and low reward. Most individuals in special education do this because they have a passion for helping. These individuals are trying to work with you. Budget cuts, changes in service offerings, and resources are usually not up to the individuals on your team. Do not punish them for the failings of the government and educational system. Most of them are working with decreasing budgets every year.
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Acknowledging their hard work is extremely gratifying. Earlier this year I had an interaction with Dino’s new DHH teacher. She was a last-minute replacement for an educator who had to leave suddenly. Dino came home after every visit with her talking about how much he enjoyed working with her. Unfortunately, I never thought to tell her how much Dino appreciated her visits. Then one day he was under the weather and left their time together crying. His DHH teacher called me to apologize for upsetting him. This was our first time talking and here she thought my son didn’t like her! I realized then that she had no idea how much Dino loved her. I made sure to tell her that I understood he was only upset because he didn’t feel well, and that he talked about her all the time.
Our kids can show how much they care
This year Dino has made the most advances in his own personal advocacy and I am certain it was because of this teacher. I made sure I told her that repeatedly, and Dino often drew pictures or wrote letters for their visits. As a previous teacher myself, I know how often it can seem as though our work goes unnoticed. Let your team know you appreciate everything they are doing for your child.
Get advice from other people who have been there
Finally, talk to other parents who have children with similar needs. I have received some of the best IEP advice from parents I met through our toddler DHH class. A few of the children are further along in their education than Roses, and these parents have shared tips for the major transitions. I also have the chance to ask for specific answers when we have a concern. If you don’t know any parents start asking the special education staff and IEP team if they can share your information with other parents.
Remember, privacy laws mean that your information cannot be shared without your consent. Therefore you need to make the overture when asking for connections. On the other side, pass it on and tell your team they can share your name with parents who might need some support. It is a wonderful way to build community and give someone else a little hope.
IEP meetings do not need to be scary events. As long as you approach them with openness and a vision of what you hope for your child they can be less stressful. Remember everyone is there because they care for amazing children like yours!
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Resources
Pacer parent information for IEP meetings Click Here
6 tips before the IEP meeting Click Here
Be a better advocate Click Here
Preparing for the IEP meeting Click Here